Norfolk Terrace, Day 61. [01:45] Preparing for the Leap of Faith
The kitchen on bright sunny mornings is so reflective that Charlie and I were blinded as we made our breakfasts this morning.
Nineteenth Century seminar provided interesting discussion on narrative realism and George Eliot’s Middlemarch being the epitome of all realist novels, apparently. The tutor relieved me a little more about the essay: it can be analytical, not an oppressively research paper (I don’t mind research papers if I have to do them, but honestly, my love for analysis is vastly superior to any lukewarm interest in research). I do have to include three secondary sources…Ah, shucks…
The SUBLIME was the topic of Romanticism in lecture, and it was TERRIFYING. Sorry, bad joke. The sublime, as defined by Edmund Burke, involves fear or terror in experiencing something in which language fails to describe it. The sublime occurs when you stand at the bottom of a mountain and look up and see mist where the summit would be. That limit to perception is what it’s about.
I studied a bit in the library, but I really need to focus my research for the Shelley paper. I finished all the books I’ve borrowed, all seven of them (but remember, just a chapter from each one) and yet I get too involved in contemplating different ways I can take the topic that my second step of analysing becomes tedious and too scattered. I need to move the desk again.
As much as I was frustrated that I was notified of a meeting for spring break travels an hour before it happened, I’m glad I was there and I’m now booked for Amsterdam and Italy, with the possibility of Spain and Portugal afterwards, with Vinnie, Mo, New Zealand Joseph (this is the last time I’ll use the regional reference; now he is just “Joseph”; I think I just got in the habit of calling him ‘New Zealand Joseph’ on this blog), and others. One I just met tonight, officially: Vito, one of Vinnie and Joseph’s friends. He told me of his first thought at being a geography major and he showed me his maps and my mental orientation of Europe definitely showed itself up as a child’s mess. I somehow had pushed Greece further and further into the Mediterranean Sea in my mind that I almost wanted to say it was an island in the middle of the Sea. Talk about embarrassing.
To get my emotional and physical catharsis, I went for a night run around the lake and got in some good sprints toward the end. On the run, I got into this rhythm that reverberated into the pace of my thoughts, letting me think in a tempo of rationality. This was when I came up with the title of tonight’s entry (which usually happens after I write the whole day down and pick out the highlight). In the next few days, weeks, and the Europe trip with the guys (and one girl), I’ll be stepping into new territory, new lands, new adventures that I have no control over. This mostly pertains to tomorrow, but still, this has got me thinking about how I perceive this study abroad experience. At times, I’ve fallen into thinking of my time here as this “Lost” Limbo allegory in a way, in which my life has reached the fulcrum of a million-forked seesaw. I will return to America knowing myself and my life plans somehow clearer, falling into one of the forks of the seesaw and choosing that one route knowingly. In ways this may happen, but one can grow up in one town his whole life and experience just as dramatic or exciting landmarks of life. And I am living with a fantasy. I’m here to experience more life but not to change in a contrived or psychosomatic manner. Change comes most naturally in the (partially) unconscious fulfilment of an idea.
One awful truth about today, though: When all was said and done, Charlie looked at me and Dan after a stack of PB&J sandwiches were prepared on the kitchen table for our weekend journey and he said, “Look at you guys fulfilling the stereotype. It’s National Woman’s Day and Jen made both of your sandwiches.” But in our defence, she offered and wanted to. She cut mine into awesome shapes: heart, house, circle, staircase, and the best: “S”. Dan did boring shapes, or shape—like, a square (Sorry, Dan!).
I skyped Katya and family for hours, and whenever this happens, it always comforts me with a feeling that it must be Skype Sunday! That’s always the day when I talk to them, but who knows when I’ll be back this weekend. Hopefully in time for Liam’s birthday party or Vinnie and Alvin’s joint birthday party but it’ll be too bad if I miss that inevitably-destined-to-be-eventful Saturday night.
So here I go, taking a leap of faith in doing this Jailbreak mission with Dan. We’ve raised a total of £70 ($110.70) for Charity Research UK. We have the T-shirt. Now tomorrow we accept the challenge to get as far away from UEA as possible without spending any money on the trip (excluding the trip back). Wish us luck.
Good night.
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